A bit confronting

I received the report from my Oncologist, for clearance to go on the assignment to the Solomon Islands. It had percentages in it that stunned me to read - although I think that I was probably given them early on after diagnosis, they were in a different form that I found difficult to understand. I think I liked the 'difficult to understand' form actually!

The report says..... "Katrina was diagnosed with stage 3a left breast carcinoma PT3PM2M0 in June 2007 and has undergone a left mastectomy and axillary clearance 2/7/2007 (63mm, grade 2, 4 of 8 lymph nodes positive, vascular invasion positive, ER >70%2+, PR 30-70%3+, HER2-......"

(Yes, you read it right..... it was 63mm ...... I still haven't come across anyone else with anything near a 6.3cm tumour!)

That wasn't the confronting bit though..... further into the report she wrote "Her risk of relapse or new primary at time of diagnosis was estimated at approximately 80% over 10 years but this has been reduced by an estimated 59% with post operative therapies." By my calculation that still means I have a 47% chance of it coming back in the next 10 years. While I like that number much better than 80%, it's still a scary number...

Rest in Peace, Lesley

Lesley passed away, with her family at her side, last Saturday night. She was a beautiful woman and she'll be missed so much by so many people. Another one taken way too soon.... love you Lesley xx

I love my Oncologist

She says "Katrina you can't live your life in a bubble" (in response to me telling her about my GP's concerns about me going to the Solomon Islands). Happy, Happy, Happy..

What a week though... I'm so happy about getting the all ok from my Oncologist to go, but am so sad because my dear friend Lesley is not going to be with us much longer. I went to visit her yesterday. She can't communicate at all. She is surrounded by her family though, and lots of love..

May 2010

The old Breast Cancer comes back to haunt me as I wait to have my medical this week to find out whether I can take up an 18 month assignment in the Solomon Islands with Australian Volunteers International (AVI). I will be absolutely devastated to get this far and lose out because of my medical history. Here's hoping all will be good.

It's been a hard last few months as so many friends I've made because of breast cancer have succumbed to this shit of a disease. One of my dearest, Lesley, is currently in a hospice, drugged to manage the pain, with not much time left. Losing friends over the last few months has made me even more determined to not be on my death bed at some point in the future wishing I'd done things like the Solomon Islands adventure.

Bring on Tuesday...

Notes from my Facebook page about my breast cancer

18 Dec 2009
Ditto to the last entry! All good at my appointments and, all going well, no more for 6 months!

28 June 2009
All good at my appointments and, all going well, no more for 6 months!

13 June 2009
The 2nd anniversary is looming (next week) of when I found the lump. 2 appointments coming up this week - 1 with my Oncologist and 1 with my Surgeon. Despite trying not to dwell on it too much, always a worrying time. I just want to get it over and done with now and get the all clear for another few months.

In my last note what I wrote about how the tablets I take work wasn't quite right. They don't stop the body producing estrogen, but they are an 'anti-estrogen' and they work against the effect of estrogen on the breast cancer cells that need estrogen to grow.

So, not so much to write here at the moment as I'm too obsessed about the coming week! Think I should have a party in a couple of weeks to celebrate 2 years since they cut the cancer out of my body! Hmm... will think about that.

I wrote a poem ...... my 1st attempt at a poem. It's about how I've felt at times since the breast cancer. I can't decide whether to put it here or not. I've only shown it to one person. Yeah... what the hell.... I'll be brave and hide it away in here and then no-one will probably see it anyway, and if you do manage to find your way into these notes then you deserve to see it! Here it is..

Who....

A broken body, a mind less alert.
Who am I now? Who knows the hurt?

Try to block the fear, but tears run down my face.
Who am I now? In this life, what’s my place?

Dreams shattered, endless nights broken.
Who am I now? The body has spoken.

I see what’s important. Cut to the chase.
Who am I now? In your life, what’s my place?

20/05/09


10 May 2009
Almost 2 years since I found out I had breast cancer. So far so good with no signs of recurrence. I take daily tablets to stop my body producing estrogen, because the cancer tested highly hormone positive. Those tablets unfortunately have the side effect of lots of aches and pains, and I walk like an old woman sometimes! (well, that may be an exaggeration - might be more of a case of feeling like I have the body of an old woman than actually looking like I have! All worth it though if the tablets do their job and keep the cancer away..

My son Ben is now 17 and working fulltime as an apprentice mechanic..... once he got a taste of working life he completely lost interest in school (not that he had a lot of interest for his last 12 months there anyway). Can't say I blame him. I was the same when I was his age.

Have been in my job at the Indigenous Land Corporation for nearly a year now, and am loving it - it was the right thing for me to do to change jobs last year. No more waking up in the middle of the night worrying about work, and no more silly Council meetings to sit through until midnight.

Not a whole lot has happened in my life in the last year, except for settling into the new job, and trying to 'manage' a 17 year old son lol ........ soon it will be time to start planning a holiday though - just need to get some pennies together!


20 July 2008

changed my profile..... but thought I'd put some of the info I had in there in my notes...... so anyone new can read it if they want...

My life has changed heaps in the last 12 months. Late June 2007 I found a lump in my breast and was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a 6.5cm tumour in my left breast, plus some other smaller ones, plus it was in 4 of my lymph nodes. I had a mastectomy, then chemotherapy, then radiotherapy, and I now take hormone tablets for the next 5 years to try and reduce the chance of it coming back.

I had some time off work during my treatment and then when I went back to work I decided I needed to change jobs....... my job was stressing me out too much. So, in May 2008 I started in my new job and am loving it!

My son Ben has had some news on the job front too. He's 16 and in Year 11 at school. He's already working part-time at Boost Juice, but this week he is starting a school-based apprenticeship as a mechanic with Ultra Tune. He'll do 1 day a week in the workplace, 1 day a week at TAFE, and the other 3 days at school. He's pretty happy, especially since he gets paid for the work and TAFE days!